just what I feel

See I used to feel like you were all the sustenance I needed because I loved you…but the mustiness of your deceptive heart turned my stomach out to what your true intentions were…see the cruelty of it all was, you, yourself didn’t know what it was…but when the odor shattered that beautiful gimmick of a sent you had going on and began to mimic what your heart had in store, you panicked and walked out the back door…trying to avoid conflict, you manipulated your words and actions to deceive me not knowing I’d already smelled the bullshit, but loved you none the less…see loving you filled me up and made me happier than any food or dessert could…it in itself was my sustenance and aphrodisiac…it was natural and I smothered myself in it…you were it and I couldn’t get the feeling off of my membrane, the thought off of my cerebrum or the warmth out of the once cold instrument that beat ice on under my left chest…because the jest of emotional attachments were so far gone I’d never longed for anything more than that of an emotional attachment…see I don’t love many people, but to feel it for someone who would easily walk out of my life without even checking to see if the door was locked was entirely my fault…see I’ve come to the realization that the only sustenance I need is me, everyone else is just grass that needs to be cut whenever they grow too close to what may be true love or physical lust…see you were what I intend to be for myself in order to maintain and sustain the mentality of one who needs no one anymore…people are only useful for physical stimulation in this simulation we go through called life…see the agony and depression we go through at the cost of losing a loved one is the worst kind of stipulation there is in this simulation where selfishness is up the stocks and love/selflessness is in a recession…so I prefer the emulation of an iceberg applied to my mental and emotional whereas my physical is just as esteemed as a brand new car, driven carefully and handled well…